


Lakehouse moments

by Nanerich



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: And Freya is wonderful, Arthur is a Prat, F/M, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Merlin Needs a Hug (Merlin), Parent Gaius (Merlin), Protective Gaius (Merlin), Starts angsty, but fluff and fun ensue, ghost au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:28:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22634344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nanerich/pseuds/Nanerich
Summary: After Freyja is killed by Arthur, Merlin is deeply heart-broken.Not just because he had to watch the girl he loved die, but because this damn destiny was never going to let him be in peace.So now Merlin at least wants to honour Freyja and the life they could have had. And as ridiculous as it might seem, an old handfasting ritual might be just the thing to do.
Relationships: Freya/Merlin (Merlin), Gaius & Merlin (Merlin)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 98





	Lakehouse moments

Life wasn't fair. Not that this was really news to Merlin; the universe had managed to screw him over at every turn imaginable.

First, something decides to give him magical powers. That should be considered a blessing, but no. What did it get him? Persecution, saving some clotpole-prat from everybody it seems and, if he wasn't saving the prince's backside, he got to scrub his boots, mend his knickers and muck out the stables.

And now Merlin was just supposed to continue working for that royal arse after he killed her? Granted, Arthur didn't know about Merlin's feelings. Then again, it's not like he really knew anything about his manservant...

But Merlin didn't care about that pompous prick right now. Merlin was above all heart-broken.

He had been ready to drop everything, leave Camelot behind for a simple life, a nice cottage by the lake, with mountains, a couple of cows and oh so many strawberries; just him and Freyja, living in peace. But that was just too much to ask, wasn't it?

A knock on the door ripped Merlin out of his thoughts. Gaius poked his head through the door, shooting the young warlock some very pitiful looks.

“Gaius.”

“Merlin. How are you feeling?”

“I feel freaking fantastic”, Merlin deadpanned and sat up in his bed. “Let me guess, his royal highness needs help tying his shoes.” As aware as he was about how bitter he sounded, Merlin cared even less.

“I have informed Prince Arthur that you unfortunately have come down with a very nasty and infectious inflamation of the throat and will have to be kept isolated for three days.”

“Oh... Thank you. Why?”

“Well...” Gaius closed the door behind him and sat himself next to Merlin on the bed. “You might not have told me everything, but I do recognize a broken heart when I see one.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“To someone who knows you... I'm so sorry, I can only imagine what she meant to you.” He gently patted Merlin's am and it took a lot for him to stop the tears from rolling down his cheek. “And you deserve to grief her.”

“Thank you, Gaius.”

“Just know I'm right there, if you need me.” With a warm smile, Gaius got up and left Merlin by himself again. Huh, with a guardian like Gaius, maybe the universe wasn't all that cruel after all.

* * *

Day three of Merlin's 'quarantine'. He had snuck out early that morning, intend not to be caught by Gaius or any guard that would spare him more than just a fleeting glance.

And now he sat by the lakeside.

“Freyja, it's me, Merlin. I miss you, I really do. A lot actually. Gaius was so kind to cover for me with Arthur so I could take some time off and so I came here. Felt like the natural choice, there's mountains, the lake, I even brought strawberries!” He got a little wicker basket out of his satchel. “They're delicious.”

“Listen, I've been thinking. It's pretty much the only thing I did the last few days. What pains me the most is how that stupid destiny took our future away. And... I don't want to lose what we could have had.”

“My mother told me about this ritual that developed over the years of persecution. There was no room, no possibility for proper hand-fasting. Those couples didn't have any druids or priestesses around, there was no walking through fire, they were just not supposed to be united. All this ritual takes is a bracelet, just like this one.” Merlin got the metal band out of his satchel. “I know it's nothing fancy. But we don't need that. The way this ritual works is that once infused with magic, the band would be broken in two.” Merlin let his magic work. The bracelet shimmered golden, like his eyes, and broke into two pieces, leaving a jagged edge. “You see, this is like a jigsaw, only those two pieces will ever make a perfectly whole band again.”

Merlin stared down at his hands, one part of the cuff in each. He let the time pass him by, as he listened to the soft waves crashing against the rock he was sitting on and watched the sunlight bouncing off the bronze metal.

“I know this is silly, but... I don't know, it feels like an opportunity to safe the bit of future we deserved. So...” With a deep breath and a wide smile, he put one half over his wrist. “Perfect fit”, he grinned.

He held the other half up, letting it float through the air, towards the middle of the lake. “In life as in death be forever one”, Merlin whispered as the first tears rolled down his cheek.

“In life as in death, be forever one”, he repeated a little louder. The band was by now hovering out on the lake, seemingly circling its destination.

“In life as in death”, Merlin repeated for the third and last time, “be forever one.” With that, the brass cuff dropped into the water.

Merlin didn't stay much longer. After he had collected himself again and wiped the last tears off his face, he made his way back to Camelot.

If the lake suddenly started glowing in all the hues of gold, it didn't last long enough for anybody who wasn't intently staring at it to notice. Merlin had long since turned away though, halfway back in Camelot already. And even if he were still sitting by the lake, chances are he would not have noticed, for his current main concern was: How the hell was he supposed to explain to Gaius that he just married his dead girlfriend?

* * *

Naturally, Gaius had realized that Merlin had snuck out in the morning; as Merlin tiptoed back into the physician's chambers, he was already awaited by his guardian. “Well, Merlin, it seems the quarantine is working out”, he remarked, barely looking up from the book of herbs he was currently invested in.

“I do actually feel a little better.” Merlin sat himself down opposite Gaius and shot him a contrite smile. “I am sorry for sneaking out.”

“I understand. Just leave me a note next time, will you?”

“Of course.”

“Good. By the way, both Gwen and Morgana have asked about your well-being. So has the prince, though unlike the girls he did not wish you the best.”

“Of course he didn't”, Merlin scoffed with a shake of his head. “Luckily I'll be back to helping that prat getting dressed tomorrow. Wallowing in self-pity is not going to do me any good and it would probably be best if I keep myself busy.”

“Wise choice”, the man nodded and locked eyes with Merlin. “Are you going to tell me where you went?”

“I was just out”, Merlin shrugged in answer, “had to just... you know?”

“If by 'you know' you mean getting married...”, Gaius remarked and nodded at the brass bracelet on Merlin's wrist.

Of course, Gaius would notice right away... “Are you mad because you weren't invited?” Maybe this conversation would go by easier or faster, if Merlin could joke his way through it.

Gaius gave a soft chuckle. “I am not, since not even the bride was invited...”

“It's not like that”, Merlin defended his action. “It's... It's a long story. In short, this:”, he held the cuff out to Gaius, “is a memory of a future that died with Freyja.”

“It might not be what you want to hear right now, but one day you will love someone like that again.”

“That's not what I mean.” He took a deep breath, trying to collect his thoughts. “I will never be able to have _this_. Destiny'll always make sure of that. We tried, we did, but in the end Arthur and that damn destiny will always get in the way of that.” Merlin sank back in the chair and wiped a tear that made its way down his cheek off his face. “This handfasting ritual was for people that couldn't be together, that weren't supposed to be together.” Merlin traced the jagged edge of the band and a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “At least this way I can be connected to her and at least keep the vision of what could have been alive.”

“That sounds like a wonderful way to honour Freyja and your relationship.”

Merlin looked up and met Gaius' gaze. The older man smiled widely, but his eyes were so much sadder for it.

“Yeah...”

“Well, I suggest you go off to bed now. As of tomorrow you will be no longer contagious and required to go back to work.”

Work. Right. As in slaving around for the guy that killed his wife. No, Merlin was not in the mood for a debate about right and wrong, so he better keep that thought to himself. “You're right”, he agreed instead. “If I know that clotpole, he'll have me work thrice as hard to make up for missing work.... Good night, Gaius.”

Just before he closed the bedroom door behind him, Merlin put his head through one last time. “And Gaius?”

The physician had already given his attention back to the book in front of him, with the sound of Merlin's voice he looked up once more. “Yes, Merlin?”

“Thank you.” With a small smile, Merlin closed the door and disappeared in his room.

And, for the first time in days, Merlin even managed to sleep soundly.

* * *

Arthur was the worst. Was it too much to ask for a friendly: “Good morning, are you feeling better?” Instead, Merlin got a “you're late. Hurry, my coat needs cleaning before this afternoon's knighting ceremony.”

“Hello Arthur, it is nice to see you, too.” With an eyeroll, Merlin grabbed the coat and thusly started an excruciatingly long day of slaving around for Prince clotpole. What was nice though, was every time he ran into Gwen or Morgana, both of whom were concerned about his health and were very happy to see him up and running.

As he trotted back to his chamber at the end of the day, he could just fall asleep standing. If Gaius hadn't kept talking on him during dinner, Merlin would probably have keeled over snoring. And with his luck, he'd probably have landed in the bowl of soup in front of him.

“You have been on a break for three days. How are you already out of practice?”, Gaius wondered.

“Because the prince is a sadistic... prat.” Merlin would have said worse, but he was currently too tired to think of fitting insults.

“It's hard to argue with destiny...”

“No”, Merlin shot back, “we can discuss this in the morning when my brain doesn't have the structural integrity of Prince Arthur's ego.”

He waved lazily at Gaius as he headed into his room and leaned against the closed door inside.

“Finally, you are home! I've been waiting all day long!”

Merlin had to be dreaming. It was the only explanation as to why he saw Freyja sitting on his bed.

“That's not fair.” Merlin just shook his head. “It's just not fair.”

“What isn't?”

“That I keep on seeing you everywhere!” He tried not to cry out in frustration; he didn't exactly want Gaius to have a front-row seat to his hallucinations. All day long, wherever he was, whatever he did, Freyja was always right there and it drove Merlin mad with sadness.

“So let me get this straight. You don't want me around?”

“I want Freyja around!” He looked up at the figure on his bed, “But it's not like you are her...”

“Oh really?”, she grinned, “then why did you marry me?” She held up her arm and traced the cuff on her wrist.

“Since you're only a figment of my imagination, you damn well know.” Merlin was done with this. The sooner he'd fall asleep, the sooner she'd disappear. So he just dropped on the mattress, as far from her as he could and buried himself into his pillow. “Just let me sleep.”

* * *

When Merlin woke up the next morning, Freyja was still there, sitting beside his bed. “Good morning!”, she greeted him with a smile. “Did you sleep well?”

“Oh, you got to be kidding me”, Merlin groaned as he glanced through half-open eyes. “What are you still doing here?”

“Putting you out of your misery.”

“Fine”, he shrugged. “Just give me a quick death.”

“Merlin. I'm really here. You're not imagining me.” She slipped the bracelet off her wrist. “In life as in death. Forever one.”

“Wait...” Suddenly wide awake, Merlin sat up, very aware that his mouth was gaping wide open. He pulled the cuff off his own wrist and put the two together. Perfect fit. Undoubtedly the cuff he threw in the lake.

“Freyja?”

“Hi Merlin”, she smiled. “You can't touch me”, she explained as he made a motion to move. “I'm still dead, I'm just my ghost.”

“Oh.” Merlin leaned back, not quite sure what to make of this very situation.

“Yeah...” She put the cuff back on her wrist. “You're also the only one that can see me.”

Merlin was admittedly lost for words.

“Yeah, it's a lot to take in, I get that”, she admitted. “I can leave, if it's too much.”

“No, no, no, don't go”, Merlin was quick to answer. “I... I just need a moment. So, the ritual...”

“It bound us together, our souls that is.” Freyja scooted closer; if she was more than a spirit, their feet would be touching. “It's a beautiful thing that you did. And not just because it brought me back; sort of at least.”

“If I had known that would happen, I'd have done it sooner.” He felt a little flush creeping over his cheeks.

“Before or after we'd have run off together?”

Merlin could just snickered back at that. “I believe it would have been the perfect way to christen our new lakeside home.”

“That does sound pretty perfect.”

“Right? If it weren't for that stupid Emrys-Albion destiny...”

“Hey”, she interrupted him with the softest smile. “Destiny is not what our relationship is about.” Gently, she put her hand over his and Merlin could have sworn he felt her touch. “Our relationship is about the mountains, living by a lake, a few fields with a couple of cows and gorging ourselves with strawberries.” At that, she started to giggle and it was the most beautiful sound Merlin had ever heard; he couldn't help but smile along.

“I mean, that's what this represents, right?” Freyja first traced her bracelet, before tracing Merlin's. “A symbol for this little world that's only for us; where you're not some burdened warlock and I'm not a cursed killing machine...”

“Where we can be just Freyja and Merlin”, he finished the train of thought.

“We can still have that. Right now, it's just us. And sure, Gaius will probably soon come stomping through that door, asking if you plan on sleeping all day long, but I'm not going anywhere. If we can't leave Camelot, fine. We'll just create our own lakehouse moments. Even if it will include so much less strawberries than I hoped for”, she added with a skew grin.

“I love you.” It was all, Merlin managed to beam at Freyja who blushed a little and beamed right back. “I love you, too.”

“Alright.” Eventually, Merlin managed to break away from staring into the beautiful blue eyes. “I think I should get going, before Arthur and Gaius drag me out.”

“Good call. Do you mind me tagging along?”

“Not at all”, Merlin grinned, “I'd love that!”

“Great! Let's get some work done, then.”

* * *

“You seem awfully chipper today”, Arthur remarked after a while.

Merlin looked up from the boot he was scrubbing, to see the prince paying him more attention than the maps he was brooding over. “I have no idea what you mean”, he shrugged, trying to look nonchalant and ignoring Freyja, sitting on the desk and pulling funny faces at the prince.

“Of course you don't”, Arthur grumbled, looking back on his maps.

“Aw”, Freyja cooed, “he's adorable when he's grumpy.” She jumped off the table and glanced over the prince's shoulders. “But I really don't get why he's so obsessed; he is aware that no matter how hard he stares, the maps won't change?”

Merlin had to bite down hard to keep from snorting out a laugh and pulled all his focus on the boots in front of him.

It was quiet for a little while, a silence that Arthur broke with a loud yell.

“WHAT?” Merlin jumped up, looking around the room for whatever was trying to kill him – this time finding a giggling Freyja and a very startled Arthur.

“What did you do?”, Merlin asked her.

“What do you mean, what I did?”, Arthur answered instead. “What did you do?”

Fine, then he'll deal with the Prince first. “I was sitting here, scrubbing your boots, so let me paraphrase: what has you frightened?”

“That'd be me!”

“I'm not frightened!”, they answered in unison.

“Of course you're no. Does that mean I can get back to my chores now?” Merlin didn't wait for an answer, he just dropped back on the ground.

Over the course of the next fifteen minutes, Merlin tried to ignore Arthur jerking, jumping and getting more and more worked up. Well, if the Prince wasn't going to admit he was freaking out, Merlin wouldn't interfere. Besides, he knew Arthur wasn't in danger, that it was just Freyja. His curiosity did rise though, as to what she did to have him freak out.

“Right.” Arthur got up, looking very startled, but tried to play over it. “I'm gonna... yeah.” He barely looked at Merlin as he made for the door. “Just finish... Alright then.” With that, the heavy wooden door closed behind Arthur.

Merlin waited until the Prince's steps went silent, before he allowed his grin to break through. “Alright, what did you do?”

“Nothing bad”, Freyja grinned back. “I just improved the maps a little bit.” As if by a gush of wind, the papers floated off the table and landed right in front of Merlin. It was a map of Camelot; not the way Merlin remembered it, though. The whole thing was ornamented with tendrils, flowers and even a drawing of a rabbit. “I mean, you're really good at drawing”, he chuckled. “You don't have to share a piece of paper with Arthur, though.”

“But it is so much more fun!”, she laughed, “especially when he has no idea what is going on.”

“Can't argue with that logic. I might just check on Prince Scaredy-Cat, knowing him he's gonna take it out on me.” With a roll of his eyes, Merlin scrambled to his feet.

“Can I come, too?” Something mischievous glinted in Freyja's eyes and Merlin wasn't sure he was going to like where this was going.

“Will you be making my life harder by screwing with the crown prince?”

“Merlin, he killed me. I think I deserve to.”

“I get your point”, Merlin admitted. “And what kind of husband would I be if I didn't support your quest for vengeance?” With a grin, he held his arm out to her.

“You do realize I can't actually link my arm with yours.”

He did, now. It was weird, how easy it was to forget that Freyja was in fact dead and that he could not touch her. He dropped his arm again, catching his face from falling a little too late.

“Nah, don't be sad”, she tried cheering him up. “At least this way nobody can take me away from you.” Freyja offered him a warm smile, it didn't reach her eyes, though.

“Sorry.” He sat next to her on Arthur's bed; if she were corporal form, they'd be touching. “I'm the one being melancholic, while you're actually dead. That's not fair to you.”

“None of this is fair to either of us. But it's the best we can do in a bad situation.”

“You're really smart.”

“Well”, she laughed, “I feel like some quip along the lines of 'death grants you perspective' would be appropriately macabre...”

“Yeah... Come on, let's look for the royal clotpole.”

* * *

Merlin seldomly had to practice restraint as he did this afternoon. To work off any anxiety Arthur might have experienced (not that he'd outright admit to it, but Merlin knew him well enough to recognize the small bit of fear Arthur tried to hide) the prince went to practise with a maze. And the target was obviously Merlin.

“First he kills me, then he beats up my husband?” Freyja was not amused to say the least. And so she let him have it. She started small, moving a branch or a rock just in time, so Arthur would trip over it. After the third time it was getting almost impossible to feign sincere worry about the Prince's well-being. It would also be easier to deal with, if Freyja didn't do a little victory dance every time she managed to drop Arthur on his behind.

The prince on the other hand got more and more frustrated, flustered and embarrassed, which in turn found its outlet in the intensity of his jabs and hits.

“Come on, Merlin!”, he moaned after the warlock shied away from a blow that would have definitely bruised his arm. “What are you, chicken?”

“Oh, I'll show you who's chicken!”, Freyja yelled, jumped off the fence she had been sitting on. She winked at Merlin and instantaneously he felt a gush of wind that sent shivers down his spine.

“What was that?” Yes, Merlin had to admit the if he couldn't see Freyja, he'd be freaked, too. But it was just so hilarious!

“I have no idea what you mean”, Merlin shrugged, trying his all to sound innocent.

Before Arthur got the chance to – probably – be mean, all hell broke loose. It was announced by the cry of the rooster and before either of them knew what was going on, an entire cluster of chickens circled Arthur, gawking excitedly; the little chicks were even brave (or dumb) enough to peck at Arthur's boots.

And the Prince lost it. “MERLIN! Get these things off me!” He tried batting and kicking at the poultry, but Freyja herded them well enough so they didn't leave his side.

“MERLIN!”

“Yes, sire.” Merlin could almost taste blood, he bit that hard on his tongue to keep from snorting with laughter. What did Arthur think Merlin could do against a wild group of chicken? So he shot Freyja a pleading look and after a dramatic eyeroll, she agreed. “Fine. I'll get him back some way that doesn't get you in trouble. Pretty amazing wife”, she added with a grin and barely a moment later, the chicken trotted off in single file, except for the chicks which ran behind their mothers in a very uncoordinated zigzag.

“You're the best”, Merlin smiled at Freyja. Fortunately, the Prince was too busy staring after the poultry with a wide gaping mouth to realize Merlin was talking to his dead wife.

After the chicken-stint, Freyja did decide to leave the prat alone for the rest of the day. This didn't mean that she kept from giving snarky commentary.

When Merlin went to bed that night, he fell asleep with the wides smile on his face.

* * *

“Merlin?” Gaius' voice startled him enough that he almost tossed his bowl of soup over the table, which Freyja found hilarious. She laughed so hard, Merlin was sure that Gaius had to hear her.

“Gaius, sorry, I didn't hear you come in.” _I was so focused on my wife..._

“I can see that.” The older man walked over and sat down opposite Merlin, right in his view of Freyja.

“Prince Arthur just came to me, to talk.”, Gaius mentioned as he broke off a piece of bread. “He asked me about the signs and reasons for being haunted.”

“Oh.”Merlin wasn't sure how to react, what he did know was that he blushed at about the intensity of an overripe tomato.

“You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?”

“Yes, he does”, Freyja threw in.

“Why would you think that?”

“Because whenever something supernatural happens you are usually right in the middle of it”, Gaius observed.

“I didn't curse him, if that's what you're insinuating.”

“No, you just raised your dead wife's ghost.”

“If you didn't curse him, then what did you do?”

“I didn't do anything!”

“Yes, you did.”

Woah, navigating this conversation between Gaius and Freyja was getting a little difficult. “I didn't coax his horse into trotting in circles”, he shot back, at which Freyja started giggling again. “That was really fun”, she laughed.

“Merlin, please tell me what is going after Arthur.”

“No”, he muttered his quiet response. “I will not. But I promise that he'll be left alone from now on.” Merlin looked up at his mentor with big, pleading eyes. “I'll make it stop.”

“Ok”, he nodded, “I trust you, boy, you know that.”

“Thanks”, Merlin smiled up at him. “that really means everything to me. And don't worry”; he quickly added. “Arthur never was in danger.”

“I know. Otherwise you would have stopped it all the moment it first began. But with the king even playful pranking can turn very dangerous very quickly.”

“I know.”

“Good. Then off to bed you go. With the fear of being haunted, Arthur might be extra...”

“Difficult? Annoying? Pratty?”, Merlin suggested.

“Demanding”, Gaius corrected Merlin's assumptions, but there was a hint of a grin on Gaius' face.

“Same difference”, Merlin shrugged. “Good night, Gaius. And thanks for trusting me.”

Gaius shot him a warm smile. “Sleep well, Merlin.”

“I'm sorry”, Freyja apologized as Merlin closed the door to his bedroom.

“What for?”

“That my childish revenge is getting you into trouble with Gaius.” She looked up at him. “I'm really sorry.”

“There's nothing you need to apologize for”, he assured her as he sat next to her on his bed. “You have all the right in the world to be angry with him and what you did the last few days was really hilarious.”

“It won't be that funny when Uther has your head for it...”

“Then we'll both haunt Arthur's behind together”, he grinned.

“That would be even more fun”, she giggled. “But yes, I think I'll leave the Prince alone from now on. Besides, I still have a lot of castle to explore and discover. You would see a lot less of me, though.”

“Although that is obviously not good, it would allow me to do my job.”

“I'm still not sure that I want you having to deal with Arthur by yourself...”

“I can handle him”, Merlin assured her, “and besides, he's a lot easier to deal with when he's not being chased by a love-sick goat...”

“That was a good one”, Freyja giggled proudly, “But yeah, I'll leave the prat be.”

“I'm sure he'll appreciate that”, Merlin yawned and made himself comfortable in his bed.

Freyja put her hand on Merlin's head and he could swear he felt her tousling his hair. “It's definitely not him I'm doing any favours. Now, go to sleep and have nice dreams.”


End file.
